Text Písně: Real slim santa - Eminem

May I have your attention please,
May I have your attention please,
Will the real Slim Santa please stand up.
I repeat will the real Slim Santa please stand up.
We´re gonna have a problem here.

You all act like you´ve never seen Santa before,
Toys all over your floor, who the hell ya think brought them?
It wasn´t your drunk dad or your mother that whore,
It was me and now I´m skinny and I´ll tell you the score.
Its the return of Christmas but not the jolly fat elf,
my ass got so big I couldn´t wipe it myself.
My doctor said, "Santa you´ve never looked worse, lose 200 pounds
or your heart´s gonna burst."
Everybody loved me big and fat
ho-ho-ho,
Big ass Santa look at him walking around,
his belly like jelly, have some more eggnog.
They didn´t give a *fuzz* if my arteries clogged,
So I said *fuzz* them and I joined a gym.
Started eatting low-fat cookies and drinking milk that was skim.
I lost so much weight I can see my candy cane,
and Mrs. Clause is happy I can *fuzz* her again.
(Your name is on my list) x2,
and if your nice, not naughty I might give you a little gift.
But here´s a message for you if your a big fat slob,
If your gut is in the way your girl won´t bobble your knob.
You can´t expect a hoe to gobble your goo,
if you just sit there eatting twinkies,
watching Scooby Doo.
If you ain´t nothing but chubby,
no girl wants a fat hubby, you´ll end
up working construction.
Your love life lies in ruins and destruction,
by the time your 30 you´ll be asking Santa for liposuction.
But if your thin you´ll get seduction,
underneath the mistletoe.
Sing the chorus and it goes!

I´m Slim Santa, yes I´m the real Kringle.
All you fly girls like my balls cause they jiggle,
so won´t the Real Slim Santa please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up.
Cause I´m Slim Santa, yes I´m the Saint Nick.
All you other fat Santa´s can suck my fat *fuzz*,
so won´t the Real Slim Santa please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up.

Ho-Ho-Ho I guess theres a Slim Santa in all of us.
On Donner on Blitzen lets get the *fuzz* out of here!
WEESSSTTTSIDEEEEE (echoed)

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